You seem to be jumping with anticipation, as if everything is about to happen all at once. You might feel that way, though I suggest you take events one at a time, just like you would move one piece at a time in a game of chess. Most of the pressure you're feeling is coming from inside you rather than from some external source. For some, this may feel like living on the verge of a panic attack, and for others, tapping into a deep source of inspiration. One thing I suggest is that you keep your attention as inwardly focused as you can. There's nothing as interesting in the outer world as what you have going on in your inner world. The great stage of your mind is teaching you everything you need to know; yet at the same time you have the ability to express your most intimate ideas to others. You're learning to do what most people never figure out, which is how to articulate what really matters to you. The more you figure out what that is, the clearer you'll be able to express yourself, and I suggest that you not hold back. Speak up about what you care about. Be open about who you care for, and why. Consciously break the taboo of revealing your actual personal truth, and feel the rare strength that offers you.