When we use the phrase “change my mind,” we make it sound like a decision that we can change right back. I would propose that to change your mind is to change yourself, when you really do it. You actually re-arrange aspects of not just your thought pattern but also your neurology. One special point of focus of your life now is changing your mind about how you respond to the expectations of others. Few would accuse you of being a conformist, but you’re someone who is keenly sensitive to what others believe. In recent months you’ve been sorting out this particular relationship—the one between you and everyone “else.” You’re not done with this process yet; you’ve yet to reach escape velocity, but I believe you’re at the point where you’re learning to notice that there is indeed a contrast between your ideas about life, and the things that you want, and those of others—including what others claim to want for you. Globally, this setup creates tension so subtle and so pervasive that few notice its existence, yet many are trapped within it. You may need to be pushy or what seems like overly assertive to establish your way of doing things, the one that’s right for you—and I suggest you err on the side of too bold rather than not bold enough. This will help you locate and learn to effectively work a boundary that you’ve been struggling with for a while.
