Poem: Twenty Things To Say To A Police Officer When He Asks, "Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?"

You were feeling lonesome.
You're lost and need directions.
You thought I was someone you knew.
You wanted to play 20 Questions.

You admire my car and want to make an offer.
You ran out of cash and need to borrow some money.
You thought I was going to get to my destination early
unless you stopped me to chat.
You think I have your mother in the trunk, don't you?

You're looking for a bank robber
and thought I might know where he is.
You want to know what kind of gas mileage I get.
You wanted to compliment my driving.
You need to borrow my cell phone.

You're practicing traffic stops.
You're selling tickets to the Policeman's Ball.
You heard that the gun under the seat is a real beauty.
If you don't know, why are you asking me?

You wanted to see my brake lights go on.
You stole a police car and wanted to see
what it's like to play cop.
You made a mistake.
Oh, my God, I forgot the baby on the roof!