Focus less on appearances and more on saying what you really mean. You might even consider forgetting appearances entirely and investing everything into speaking, and living, your truth. I normally would not cast this in such polarized terms, though these two concepts are often mutually exclusive. Appearances are usually designed to conceal the truth. You have a choice to make, though it may not be so starkly clear now as it's likely to be around the time of your birthday. The decision involves not just whether you want to live with a veil thrown over your reality, and therefore isolated from others, but also why you would want to do so. You are more transparent than you think, and it would support your concept of integrity to be seen and known for who you are. This is for you, not for anyone else. One happy result will be you'll have more energy to invest in what you love the most dearly. Yet there is something deeper at play here, which is your need to have an open conduit of communication with others, one that is based on actual vulnerability. I recognize how scary this is, especially in our moment of social history when the climate is chilled to below freezing. Others may think this works fine for them; you need warmth, contact and most of all, honesty.