You seem to have a choice of responsibility in name only, or responsibility without a name. Either way, you're being asked to step up to something larger; you are hearing a calling, though it's complex and not easy to translate. What happens comes down to how you interpret that calling, and how you choose to respond. There's considerable tension involved in the whole situation, and you may be feeling it pull on you, perhaps threatening to pull you apart, without recognizing it's there, much less knowing what exactly it is. If so, I suggest you carefully review any situations that seem to compete with one another, and any elements of your life where factors within them seem to compete. As you do this, notice what you determine is not subject to change or to movement, and what you determine is. Your assessment may or may not be correct, though it will help if, for example, when you determine something cannot change, you ask yourself why it cannot change. If you determine something can change, notice what you do about that—whether you invest energy in making the change. Back to my original premise: Responsibility in name only is easy to control and requires no flexibility. Responsibility without a name requires your full commitment both to flexibility and exchanging the concept of control for something much more productive, which is influence.