Sex is communication. Whatever else it may seem to be—recreation, reproduction, creativity, commerce—on the deepest level, it's an exchange of feelings, energy, contact and words, all inherently communicative. When there's any kind of breakdown around sex, from antipathy or cheating to violent assault, you can count that as a failure of communication. When you notice one of those, the first thing to do is to get the conversation going. The semantic origins of the word communicate are "to share, divide out; impart, inform; join, unite, participate in," literally "to make common." That's the thing to reach for. This concept could be the basis for an entire course on sex education, suitable for adults or children. Think of it—common ground as the basis for relationship. What a radical notion. You are being drawn into that common ground right now, and it may seem on the surface to be about some form of romance or partnership. That would be true if the world were rated PG-13, but it's not. Biology runs things on our particular planet, and that topic usually gets an XXX rating. Now, there aren't usually many words spoken in those awesome little 10-minute features, and it's up to you to bring some form of a dialog to the table. Not the bedroom; that's not the best place to talk. The kitchen table is much better.
