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Finding Your Missing Piece


Last Updated: 08/13/2013 3:52 pm

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This creates a power imbalance, and as relationships with parents are the template for relationships later in life, the stage is set for many disappointments. As Libra John Lennon pointed out, we can never hold the central place in anyone’s life that our parents held for us; they don’t love us like we love them. This is particularly true given that so many parents are negligent or abusive.

It does not help that many parents have narcissistic relationships with their children, that is, they see them as extensions of themselves rather than as individuals. This problem is so pervasive that it’s nearly invisible. It explains why we live in a society where having a relationship is viewed as a sign of worthiness, a badge of honor, or evidence of being human.

To see how this equation turns out, just listen to a few or a few dozen stories of the kinds of things people often do to one another when they’re in the process of getting divorced. Plenty of what we experience in relationships—the adulation, the cruelty, the admiration, the love—is about projection. Venus retrograde in Aries is about taking back those projections, and seeking something within ourselves. That could be a feminine identity within the prevailing masculine concept of “self” that we exist with.

That sounds like making a discovery of the inner goddess, a core feminine identity that is entirely different than what we normally think of as ourselves. For both men and women, Venus retrograde in Aries is about seeking the beauty we see outside ourselves, within ourselves; seeking inner beauty.

There is also something here about being confronted by how rigid our ideas of sex and relationships are. Aries views nearly everything as a competitive sport, including love, friendship, etc. Venus in Aries is competitive, oh boy, but turn her retrograde and you can turn the Popularity Olympics into a deep, inwardly directed question. Our accepted relationship model leaves no room for experimentation; that is why so many people cheat. Most of us, in defense of this situation, drag around a prudish quality that is more befitting a convent, only we live in a world where we are driven to artificially sexualize ourselves, or are confronted by constant sexual aggression.

At the end of the retrograde, after two months in a fire sign, Venus gets wet. This is where we find the missing piece. Venus, the goddess, was born in the ocean and when she stations direct she will be in the last degree of Pisces. We’re suddenly relieved of all of this exploration and obsession over self (Aries) and enter territory that is at once collective, spiritual, and sexual (Pisces). Venus stays in this degree for nearly two weeks (April 11-24) while she slows down, stations direct and begins to cover the territory where she was just retrograde.

To me, this is an opening where something new can be born: a new idea about ourselves, a new sense of freedom, and, most of all, the sense of something we actually have to offer others. We do, but I’ll tell you this—it’s not a token. Love is not on the barter system. Like breathing, it’s something we do because we’re alive.

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