first, we are to sit down with funeral purveyors, speak business and, then,
shell out cash.
there is an economy to be thought of, and men must be hired: limousine drivers,
the tailors must get their pay: we get fitted for black suits.
peripheral people and strangers must be entertained: we schedule speakers and
their absence haunts us; we blurt out random anecdotes and drunkenly admit our melancholy.
their absence requires explanation and we make pretend instead of admitting that there
is no learning, no growth, involved in it.