You seem to be holding onto a lot of energy that you absolutely must express. I don't mean a modest amount of energy; I mean on a volcanic scale. Energy always finds a way into manifestation. Given what you're working with, you must take up the power of directing it in a constructive way. That's not a given, and there are no guarantees. The closest you can come is a commitment to yourself to be aware from moment to moment where you focus your mind, particularly in your intimate relationships. You may need some time away from a partner, or space to experiment in entirely new ways. Any relationship is likely to either feel the stress or come along for the journey, though I suggest you not try to push or drag anyone into what is inherently about you alone. If you value the relationship, be honest about what you're experiencing and negotiate the space you need. At the heart of the matter seems to be an experiment in emotional independence for the purpose of exploring and experiencing life in ways you may have long dreamed of. This will not be a predictable process, and once you admit that it's happening, you will be on a journey with a life of its own. Or rather, a journey of discovering, perhaps once again, that you have a life of your own.
