“Nothing ages a person faster than a negative attitude,” says Donna Fremon-Powell, a certified guided imagery therapist in La Habra, California. “Anger, jealousy, hate, resentment, all of these emotions, produce a chemical that’s very similar to arsenic. Simply put, your negative emotions are poisonous.”
Fremon-Powell isn’t suggesting you ignore difficulties and walk through life with your head in the clouds. Rather, pay attention to where you direct your energy. Instead of focusing on traffic, your growing debt and your never-ending to-do list, take a deep breath and when you exhale release the stress or upset by blowing it out. Then imagine yourself in a beautiful, soothing place or with someone you love. A routine part of Fremon-Powell’s guided imagery practice involves having clients imagine themselves in a calming place that brings them joy and pleasure.
“One of the easiest ways to create feelings of peace, gratitude, and wellness is by using your imagination,” claims Fremon-Powell. “Stress promotes aging and cell death, so it’s important for people to know how to calm themselves. Spending even two minutes a day imagining yourself walking in a beautiful meadow or standing under a warm waterfall enhances the body’s natural healing abilities.” And when you imagine your favorite place, you can paint the scene any way you like.
Let’s Talk About Sex
With dwindling hormones, given a choice between sex and vacuuming, for most seniors, the carpet wins. But if you can effectively sidestep your vacuum, sex can boost your immune system, reduce stress, and keep you trim and healthy to boot. And studies show that for men, ejaculating more than five times a week can reduce the risk of prostate cancer.
“Your sexuality is part of your general health—if you don’t use it, you will lose it,” claims sex educator and internationally best-selling author Lou Paget. As the author of the best-selling book How to be a Great Lover (1999, Broadway), Paget helps people of all ages use their sexuality for optimal health. Her argument: We take care of our health with food, vitamins, even unnecessary medications, but touch is a huge part of what it means to be human. Our tissues need to be stimulated to promote blood flow and lubrication.
Your body changes as you age—hormone levels dip, lubrication dries up, and sensation falls flat. And more often than not, outside influences (like medication or a stagnant marriage) also interfere with our sex drives. “Part of great sex, and great aging, is being willing to experiment, try new things and continue learning about yourself and those around you,” says Paget. “There are many things people can do in a partnership—whether it’s with toys or just new ways of being together.”
Think of your sexuality as an appetite—much like your appetite for food. “There’s comfort food and there’s comfort sex,” says Paget. “But you don’t want to always feed your body the same thing.” Your taste buds in your mouth dictate what will take care of that appetite and the nerve endings in your skin and body will tell you how to take care of your sexual appetite. Sometimes—especially as you get older—you’re just not hungry, and that’s okay, too.
Social Hour
Far more important than an active sex life is building and maintaining social networks. “We’re hard-wired to be connected,” says Crowley. “Every advanced structure in our brain depends on interaction with other people.” And yet society is making it increasingly easy to live in isolation—a sure-fire way to age fast. Crowley’s solution: Default to yes. When someone invites you to do something or asks for help, say yes.
That’s one strategy Gough has down pat. Even at her seemingly advanced age, Gough is constantly out in the world, making new friends, trying new things and re-discovering herself. So whether she’s being asked to manage offices all over the country, sing on stage in front of a packed theater, or help someone overcome their self-esteem issues, Gough’s response is usually yes.
