Take advice from one who just turned eighty-four
Ladies, you don't have to shave your legs anymore
The hair once crowning your head grows thin
Because all that hair is now on your chin.
While your hearing aid is in the shop for repair
Just carry on as though it were still there
Smile a lot even if you can't hear what's said
And hope they didn't tell you their spouse is now dead.
Wear those glasses with a nonchalant air
They're so stylish either round, oval, or square
Flaunt them on your face not hidden on your neck
You can still see the big things, so what the heck.
No more dentists humming behind his drill
As he tells you how many teeth he must fill
You've won that war with your teeth at last
See them smiling at you from your bedside glass.
Don't get upset if your kids come home and yell
"What in heaven's sake is that horrible smell?"
You were doing just fine without their commentary
You didn't smell anything out of the ordinary.
Just a few thoughts as I turn eighty-four
I'll have even more to say when I'm ninety-four
Remember to keep a sense of humor as you age
Adjust your expectations of fun at every stage.
