SENSATION
Reduced sensation in sexual organs of both genders is not uncommon. Our bodies, especially those of women, are constantly changing, so it would make sense that the way we feel during lovemaking also changes. When sensation during intercourse is on the low side, examine your mind and body for a possible explanation. There may be psychological or emotional reasons that distract you from being in the moment of sexual play. Or, physical factors, such as waning tone in pelvic muscles, could be contributing. Kegel exercises can greatly enhance sexual sensation and can be incorporated into a daily exercise regime (and are good for men, too). Begin by locating your pubococcygeus (PC) muscles: They are the muscles of the pelvic floor that you tighten to intentionally stop urine flow. Contract your PC muscles, squeezing them lightly for five seconds, then relax them for five seconds. Repeat the exercise ten times; do at least three sets of ten throughout the day. Kegels done with vaginal cones or weights, which can be purchased online, can further strengthen muscles. Yogis believe that sexuality is stored in the hips and pelvis, and specific yogic asanas (positions) are thought to increase sensation in the sex organs. Seated butterfly (bound angle pose) is one of these asanas and can easily be practiced daily in a calm, quiet space, or even in front of the television.
LOW LIBIDO
A low libido, or reduced desire for sexual activity, is another common complaint of both men and women. Causes among women are stress, weight gain, headaches, back pain, relationship conflict, inability to reach orgasm, emotional issues, childbirth, onset of menopause, breastfeeding, certain drugs, depression, and hormonal imbalances. For men, low libido is usually associated with impotence, depression, and thyroid problems, but other psychological, emotional, or health issues may also play a role. The stresses of modern life—busy schedules, a lack of attention to the many delights our senses encounter, and our constant connection to technology—all take away from our sensual sides.
A low libido can be enhanced by a variety of herbs including maca, ginseng, and gingko biloba. The supplement L-arginine may help increase sexual desire as well. Essential fatty acids provide hormonal support, while vitamins C and E and zinc are great for circulation. Vitamin E also helps in the production of sex hormones.
The various forms of vitamin B are among the most efficient and important vitamins to increase libido. Specifically, vitamin B3, or niacin, helps the body make a variety of sex-related hormones in both the adrenal glands and elsewhere. In addition, niacin dilates blood vessels, which improves blood flow. This, in turn, increases sexual pleasure and arousal. In fact, research has found that women with insufficient amounts of niacin in the uterus are actually incapable of achieving orgasm.
According to Dr. Maoshing Ni, a doctor of Chinese medicine and author of Secrets of Self-Healing, a sulfur bath or soak in a hot spring is helpful for kidney-adrenal energy and also promotes circulation in the sex organs, which is beneficial for sensation. He also recommends eating a clove of vinegar-pickled garlic daily for one month. These can be purchased, or made at home by filling a glass jar with peeled cloves of garlic and white vinegar. Add one teaspoon salt and seal the jar, storing in a dark space for one month. Another home remedy is to boil a chopped onion, a chopped leek, 3 chopped stalks of chives, 10 slices fresh ginger root, and 1 teaspoon each of turmeric and cayenne in 4 cups of canned chicken stock for 30 minutes, eating one bowl a day.
RECLAIMING SENSUALITY
To improve sexual problems or get more out of an already enjoyable sex life, set aside some time to evaluate the pace of your life, and make time—even if it’s a little at first—to slow down. Enjoy a few small touches that relax and sensualize the mind and body. Soothing baths, aromatherapy, daily exercise, massages, yoga practice, candles, sensual and nourishing meals, inspiration from books, music, and nature—these are all essential to a connected and peaceful existence. See to it that your home is a sanctuary, regardless of its size. Reestablish the bedroom as a sensual space by eliminating anything technological. Use your bed for sleep and intimacy only—or, if you have space, create a special room devoted to sensuality and sexuality.