My own investigation into Millennials included some interviews, just to get a feeling for what is going on among today's younger folks. I had a married couple in their twenties explain how by the time they were teenagers they knew everything about sex (as presented in educational Internet videos, i.e., porno). For them nothing was shocking and they were totally jaded. They made specific reference to a video involving a horse.
"By the time my father sat me down to have the sex talk, I knew more than he did," one of them said.
The larger reference here is that in an era where abstinence-only indoctrination is still funded by the federal government to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars a year, most young people get their sex "education" from porn websites. In my reading, called Understanding Millennials, I wrote a section called "Porn is Not Sex and Sex is Not Porn," to clear up any confusion that might exist about that.
In his stand-up routine, Steiner was not confused. He did something extremely bold—he treaded onto the ultra taboo territory of sexual awareness in the yoga studio. That's the place where everyone is super duper sexy, firmly in their body, well hydrated, looking fine and spraying hormones into the room—and nobody is supposed to be turned on. You must be absolutely focused on your practice.
"For those of you who don't know yoga, it's ancient Sanskrit for union—between yoga pants and camel toe." Ah, what incredible relief—someone was actually admitting to noticing this; in public, no less.
He then ended with a proposal for couples: "Eat some edible marijuana, take some coconut oil, and go to separate rooms. It's way better than anything you could do to each other." I think I was the only person who cheered. But then I knew what he was talking about.
Paul Butler then took the microphone, taking a more in-your-face approach. He described how in every bar in the United States, you meet the same exact characters. There's always this awkward couple, about 21 years old, consisting of an ultra-femme young woman and an ultra-masculine young guy.
And there's always this guy named Bill, who comes up to them and blurts out, "HEY, YOU GOT A CIGARETTE?"
"No sir, I actually don't smoke."
"THAT'S GOOD, IT'S A BAD HABIT," he growls, a bit over-loud, probably spraying spittle.
"Okay, okay," the young man says nervously.
"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS' NAMES?"
"I'm Jonathan, and this is Rachel."
"I USED TO BE A DITCHDIGGER WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE."
"Then Bill has to give advice," Butler continued. "Here it comes. I'm hoping everyone is going to recognize this."
"YOU BETTER TREAT HER RIGHT!"
"As if there wasn't him to say that, I'd never know. You're absolutely right. I've been beating her mercilessly every single day for the past year. And now I'm going to start treating her right."
"Bill wants to have sex with her, and expects her to reply, 'Oh, Bill, he really doesn't treat me right. It's hurting me, Bill. You're going to treat me right, Bill."
Then came Kevin Smith. I've bumped into Kevin on the streets of various towns four or five times a week since around 1989. I had no idea he was a stand-up comic.
He told stories of surfing right-wing Facebook pages, some of which claim that humans and dinosaurs lived on Earth at the same time. But if that were true, "The story of Daniel surviving in the lion's den wouldn't seem so miraculous anymore. A lion's den is a pretty friendly place with a T-Rex chasing after your ass."
Sarah Venditti then took the microphone. Up till that point she had been the MC (and previously a mild-mannered coffee server at Outdated, often seen with her kids; she is the mom among her friends). It turned out she had some additional material. She began by saying she had spent her twenties in a serious relationship which had recently ended, and that it was weird to be dating again at 28 because so much had changed in the decade she was out of circulation.
