Leave room for a little madness in your life. Leave yourself room to cut loose, and be a bit Bacchanalian. Real mental stress sets in when people are wound too tight, or become obsessed by control. You need to loosen up, however you define that, though I would say that you need something better than alcohol. You need to feed your imagination and get into that space where you really can share yourself with others, and receive what they offer you. Generally this is called intimacy. But I don't mean it so much in the sense of pure fidelity as I mean it in the sense of an experiment and a celebration. To go there, you may really need to convince yourself to relax, and set aside any concerns related to work or health. You are already doing what you can, which may mean that you're doing quite enough. What you would benefit greatly from adding is the quality-of-life piece, which may feel like a throwback to a much younger age. But that is who you were, and in many respects it's who you still are. What you have now that you didn't have then is a degree of confidence. Your self-esteem is much stronger. It's true you built that on your accomplishments. You'll appreciate it more if you take a breath, slow down and play.