You might be wondering what you’re pushing against, or what you’re running into. It’s something that’s there but which you can neither see nor feel easily. Trying to describe it to others is akin to describing the logic of a dream, which doesn’t even make sense to you when you try to consider it rationally. You must start this phase of your life being the only one who understands who you are or what you go through. Because so much is in motion, it would not be helpful to declare, “There, I get it!” Rather, I suggest seeking the kind of understanding that comes in layers. Remember, though, that we’re in the territory of dream logic. That implies a unique point of view, and at other times a state of isolation. When you find people who actually understand something you say or feel, spend some time with them. When you encounter someone who cares enough to listen, pay attention and share in any way that feels appropriate. You have one special responsibility right now, and it may be difficult: to be absolutely honest with yourself, even when you’re uncertain what the truth is. If all you know is that you don’t know, that’s a good place to start. Your other quest is doing something with fear. Running, hiding and avoidance have outlasted whatever use they had, which was not much to begin with.