GRAND PRIZE:
To Cook a Mockingbird
It’s dead. Now what? Dozens of delicious suggestions.
--William Levitt Jr., Red Hook
BEST SEQUELS:
The Public Sharer
Conrad’s nameless captain and the hitherto mysterious Leggatt announce their nuptials in the New York Times “Vows”column.
--Kelly Spencer, New Paltz
The Tao Te Ka-Ching!
Now that you’re like all serene an’ shit, let’s make some money! Lao-tsu’s guide to personal investments.
--John Berryhill, Red Hook
BEST PREQUELS:
A Tale of One City
It was the best of times, it was the best of times.
--David Smilow, Saugerties
Queen Lear
Being the brief tale of Regan and Goneril’s mom, who died giving birth to their little sis.
--Kelly Spencer, New Paltz
DISHONORABLE MENTION PREQUELS:
Roget’s Tyrannosaurus
In use for innumerable eons, epochs, ages, and millennia before the more portable edition.
--Vladimir Mikolovich, East Jewett
Jonathan Livingston Hatchling
Chick lit.
--Cora Suleen Sprunt, Stone Ridge
Clan of the Precambrian Protozoa
A colony of amoebae bands together to evolve into a multicellular organism.
--Laura Covello, Ulster Park
DISHONORABLE MENTION SEQUELS:
The Catcher in the Focaccia
Holden Caulfield is a phony boulanger at a crumby pâtisserie.
--Aram Macrosian, Shady
The Metamorphosyphilis
Gregor Samsa awakes one morning to find
he’s been changed into a giant cock...
--Dakota Lane, Phoenicia
Dublinerds
Computer fever strikes Trinity College.
--Amlin Gray, New York City
